I did it. I started my Twitter back up. What can I say? I like getting quick updates about things that I wouldn’t normally get. New songs, xbox 360 games, friends I haven’t talked to in forever (since I deleted Twitter anyway). It’s pathetic, I know.

And since I went on a 6.5 hour trip (one way) and 5.75 trip (the other way) to Raleigh and back this past week, my head is swimming with many blogging ideas. Hopefully now that I’ve completely re-done my computer, and have hopefully have more typing time (I am a teacher, after all and the season of no school is upon us), I will write more. I’ve found that it does a lot for how I cope with certain issues. Without it, I have to deal with my issues by talking them out, and Lord knows that that does not work. Ever.

For now, I’m going to go watch more of the History Channel and snuggle with a pup I haven’t seen in 4 days. I really have the life, you know?

Thirty minutes past my bedtime, it hits me: I don’t want to be popular.

And then I think, Ummm… what kind of thought is that, you idiot? Of course you want to be popular. Everyone wants to be popular. Remember that time you watched Julia Nunes on YouTube play the ukulele and you wanted to buy one just so you could get up enough courage to post your own video?

What about that time you started your own blog and started to post things you wrote from time to time?

Which blog?

Pick one. Xanga, Blogger, Livejournal, WordPress, Tumblr, delicious (insert dots where you want). Just pick one.

What about that time you started a Twitter just because you wanted to know what it was? And what about that time you just couldn’t delete it because you’d lose track of people you barely know?

Oh, those times? Well, those times weren’t really me.

And what the poop are you talking about, missy? Of course they’re really you.

No, they’re not. And don’t call me missy. They’re times that I thought I wanted to be popular. I wrote one sentence “paragraphs” and wrote conversationally and tried to make myself approachable. I asked those silly open ended questions and tried to be witty. I commented on tons of blogs and kept up with tons more. I mean it’s what others were doing, but I didn’t really want to be that popular. I just tried kinda medium hard.

Uhh, Einstein? You’re writing conversationally now. You’re also writing one sentence “paragraphs” and still trying kinda medium hard.

And then, for the second time, it hits me. I’m only trying kinda medium hard. For the things that I am truly passionate about, I try really hard. And that’s not about many things, believe me. I wish I was more passionate about more things, but I’m not. And for my 25 years of living, I still haven’t been able to make myself care about things that I don’t.

But being popular? Being the blog that gets hundreds of hits every day? Even being the girl who has tons of acquaintances and people to text on my cell phone. That’s never been me. Probably never will be. The point is: I don’t want to be.

There are times that I don’t comment on people’s blogs for months. Sometimes, I don’t update for weeks at a time. I don’t write with funny wit. I don’t think about blog topics to save up and post later. I also hate posts that try to be semi-intellectual and emotional — that try too hard. It’s hard for me to pinpoint the exact reason, but you’ve read them. I’ve read them. They’re everywhere, and I used to believe that if I was a good blogger, I’d write like them.

But then I realized that I didn’t like the way they wrote and that was OK. So I unsubscribed to them.

I have to consider the kind of person that I really am, and I’m not the person who spends hours online keeping up with blogs, commenting, updating and making new friends through the internet. I love the people that I’ve come into contact with during the past couple of years, but I’m a homebody. I like to stay at home with my husband and dog, watch TV together, read books and listen to music. I like to bake and play my ukulele, make up songs for my husband and Petey and sing them to them as I dance around the house.

I don’t even keep up with my “real life” friends all that well. I think they probably all think that I’m the worst friend they’ve got. Ohs well.

But I don’t think that being a blogger means that I have to want to be popular. And that’s a good thing.

So, I think that I’m going to continue poodlegoose for as long as I want to try at least medium hard. I’ll delete my Twitter and my various other time wasters, but poodlegoose will stay around a little longer.

I’m doing a really bad job at being a blogger. I know this. Don’t think that I don’t.

It’s just hard for me to sit down and write and most of all, think when things are going so well. And believe me when I say that things are going so so well.

When I talk the most, it’s probably going to be complaining. And that’s a bad thing. So when things are going well, you probably won’t hear a lot from me, which is the disappointing part. Who wants to read/hear someone who constantly complains? Not me, that’s for sure.

One of these days, I’m going to sit down and start thinking about how great my life is going at this point. But for now, I’m going to continue living it out and write later.

scfamilylife.wordpress.com

You know those folks you don’t get along with because you just… can’t? I have a couple of those, and it’s like I’ve just tried and tried and tried to get along with them but it fails every time.

Of course, it’s like that, but it’s not really that. Because I haven’t tried and tried and tried. I’ve tried and then given up because that person got on my nerves and made me mad.

While I was watching my first graders play the other day, I noticed that two of the girls are quite similar to me and to a girl that I haven’t been able to get along with for a while. Almost since I first met her. I’m sure I wrote a post about her and lamented about my trouble with her, because of course, it was all her fault. Just like it was in the first grade.

However, while I was watching these girls play, I noticed how the taller, brunette girl was playing mommy, very much like I used to. She knocks into things and falls down, uhh… almost just like I used to (and uhhh, still do). She also talks too much and likes to play by herself on occasion, even though most of the other kids usually have to play with someone else. She’s great, really. Really smart and catches on quickly. She even reads like I used to: advanced, but she likes to make up her own words to fit into the sentences.

And then, there’s this other girl. I’m not going to describe how she looks, because that’s more information than I care to share about the girl that I haven’t gotten along with for a while, but just take my word for it that they have a similar build and look. She can also be pretty smart; she’s a great reader, but she has trouble focusing. She also pouts when things don’t go her way, and she likes to show off. And dance… which is more like her just standing in the middle of the room shaking her booty, as she likes to call it. She also likes the boys, but only likes them when they can be of use to her.

But they’re friends. And they’re friends because they both want to be. It makes me think about how things would be if I WANTED to be friends with this other chick. If I was nicer and more giving. If I actually forgave and showed true love and forgiveness. Ugh. If I wanted.

Life as a whole would probably be a lot easier (though, probably more dramatic with her in my life as a specific example).

First graders teach me lots of things about people as a whole. They’re funny that way.

What’ve you learned from a kid (or group of kids) lately?

Life has been happening so fast, I can barely keep up. Surprisingly, I am quite ok (more than ok on most days) with everything that has been happening, but when I look up from my 2nd full week of school (2.5 total), I realize that time is slipping me by.

During the next few weeks, I am going to be doing some changes to this blog site – this poor neglected blog of mine.

So many things have been happening, and fortunately, they have been happening for the best. I truly love my job, but it makes life 100% different than it used to be (which is wonderful). I am actually enjoying something that I’m doing, and it scares me to death that I may screw it up. That’s probably the hidden (mostly hidden; I find that rarely can I hide anything, great or small, from the man that resides in my home 24 hours a day with me) pessimist in me, but I like to think that I’m a realist. A realist that thinks toward the negative side.

You know, it’s hard to constantly be positive when you’ve hated almost every job you’ve ever had. Believe me. I know. I was thinking about writing out a list of every job I’ve had, but then I started to feel bad. Not bad for myself, but bad that it’s taken me this long to get into the job that I knew I’d love from the very beginning. What took me so long?

Some places to check out:
Some great music: http://www.myspace.com/thewintersounds
Some good reading: minerfortruth.wordpress.com

Also, I’m wondering how Beatles RockBand is going to fit into this lifestyle of going to bed at 10PM every night and waking up at 6:30AM. How am I supposed to function when I stay up all night playing it? How am I going to fit in episodes of Top Chef and Project Runway into my already shrinking evenings? Guess we’ll find out.

There are so many things going on in my life that I can hardly keep up. This surprises me greatly, because less than a month ago, I was on the verge of bitterness, anger and well, at least it seemed, perpetual joblessness.

It’s funny what can happen in a couple of weeks. Believe me, but don’t believe me? Well, take seat. I’ll give you the low-down. What? You’re already seated? Just read it, ok? It makes sense (but no sense), believe me.

Week One
Tuesday: Get fired. Great, now what? I’m mad; I’m sending out mean, but necessary, letters. Sounds dangerous, doesn’t it? Yeah, you better watch out. Ha.
Wednesday-Saturday: Sit on my butt with husband and friend and mope and gripe and send more letters to stoopid people. Lament about ailing economy and how it’ll take me forever to find a new job.
Cathartic, definitely. Helpful…? Yes. You didn’t let me finish. Helpful getting another job? Uh, whoops.

Week Two
Monday: email my pastor about what happened the week previous.
Get an email back from him about a possible job opportunity
Tuesday: Email job opportunity, not possibly thinking it could be anything
Wednesday: Interview for aforementioned job; met really great manager, get job
Thursday: Training (short training) Become overwhelmed (really, really overwhelmed)
Friday: Work in store training
Saturday: First full day, feeling a bit crazy.

Week Three
Monday-Saturday: I’m actually doing a good job. Worked my first full week, and like clockwork, use my first 2-ish (in this case week and a half) weeks to get a handle on most things and enjoy the job. Stopped being so overwhelmed.

Week Four
Monday: Work looooooong, boring, soul-crushing day (nothing happened, customers were few and far between)
Tuesday: Get first grade and music teaching job offer, AKA my dream job; WTF, universe?? WTF.
Quit current job; take new job; feel a bit crazy and overwhelmed, but excited.

Aaaaaaaand scene.

Can I take a couple of days to catch my breath?

No? Well, I’d better get moving. See you on the other side.

All of this wedding talk got me to thinking about all of the awesome-ness that was my wedding. Because there was quite a bit of awesome-ness.

Since I’ve already talked about my wedding ceremony a bit, I thought I’d show a bit of the reception. Because we used disposable cameras for some of the pictures, I only have a few to show. But these are good.

This is my beautiful last minute cake. The cake portion of the wedding planning was probably the hardest part of all. Which brings me to…

The ghost cake. I loved that ghost cake but it caused a bit of controversy.

“Honey Honey”

This is a photo taken from the disposable cameras on the tables. I think it’s super sweet.

We also had a guest book that consisted of dressing up and lots of fun props.

Tawa

We have awesome friends.

We also had really beautiful floral arrangements with red roses and various kinds of Halloween candy spread about on each table. It was in an art gallery, so there wasn’t much decorating we had to do. I do wish I’d better pictures of those facts, but I’m sure they’ll turn up.

He was leaning down because he got beamed in the head with a popcorn ball favor and was picking it up to throw back.

Overall, we had a wonderful evening with our family and friends, and I couldn’t have asked for anything better. Such a wonderful day