All through high school, I would flit to and fro from one hobby to another, one group of friends to the next, always ready to start something new, meet new people, gain new skills. I was constantly busy — playing the violin, guitar, mandolin, singing, acting/singing/dancing/working backstage awkwardly, playing soccer, running cross country, “playing” basketball, constantly reading and listening to music, baking, watching movies with my boyfriend, even gardening — I was the queen of hobbies. I loved to meet new people and listen to their stories.

My life hasn’t really changed that much. Well, ok, I take that back. Up until this past October, my life hadn’t changed that much. In the time since high school, I learned how to knit, sew a quilt, sing better and more confidently, play the ukulele, put on makeup, and I was still regularly reading, listening to music, watching movies, playing video games, playing the violin & viola, singing, working out and running, cooking and baking, playing with a myriad of pets. I still liked to meet new people – I just liked having my own personal space more frequently.

Recently, though, I’ve found myself doing less. I’m not quite sure exactly what the specific reasons are, but it confused me at first.

I tried throwing myself back into what I used to do for fun. I picked up my ukulele with the hopes that everything would be solved. They weren’t. I played my violin more. Less. Played Animal Crossing for days. I started listening to more CDs and catching up on TV shows I’d missed. I baked more. I put on makeup every day for a week. I worked out every day. I threw myself into my job. I started knitting a scarf, even though it was almost summer.

Unsurprisingly, the busyness didn’t keep me occupied for long.

Being in this play really clarified some important aspects of my life for me. I’ll spare you the gruesome details, but when an introvert is surrounded by a plethora of people backstage, only one of which they’ve seen before, it gives them time (AKA me) to think.

I think that I should be focusing my energy into things that matter in this stage of my life, not necessarily knitting or playing the ukulele or running every day.

And it definitely means that I can’t do the 3 hours of sleep for more than one night in a row deal anymore. Someone save me from Monday morning?

Definitely still a work in process…