I have never in my short, limited life experienced a situation like the one I am currently going through (not that it’s anything major for you life veterans out there).

I sit here at my little make-shift desk, with my little clip-on desk lamp awkwardly shining onto a cheap wireless keyboard & mouse set, my empty bowl of long since finished macaroni & cheese (foundationally, but far from being the masterpiece my grandmother would pull from the oven on Sunday mornings) sitting haphazardly shoved in the little space there is between the light & the laptop, and I surf. I write long, poorly punctuated sentences, and I surf. And stalk. But mostly stalk.

As my blog becomes more and more public in my own personal life, there is an issue that I choose not to discuss.

I will now write about it ambiguously, and yet directly. Please don’t think that this is a cop-out, when in reality it is. Majorly. And I know it. I just can’t stand it when people that don’t know full situations judge me on the little that I choose to share. Oh wait, THAT was more than I wanted to share. Eh, whatever. I’m on a roll now.

There is someone that I strongly dislike. And since I am now an adult and can call a cow a cow — hate, like really and truly hate (and I know that I am not his/her favorite person either). There is someone out there in the world, close in proximity physically (always around), but light years away spiritually, that I hate.

For the longest time, I tried to convince myself that this person was merely a dislike, someone to throw away and worry with no longer. It takes a lot for me to dislike a person on a regular basis. I (at least used to) look for the good things in people, and I can’t stand it when people dislike me, even for something small.

But like the previous paragraph states — I have to step it up and call it like it is.

I like to watch this person on the all-too-infamous (and dangerous) Facebook. Status changes, picture uploads, quote & interest updates. What did he/she say on that other annoying person’s page? Why would he/she say that when in reality, he/she hates that person? Why does he/she care so much if someone finds them brilliant because they posted a pseudo-intellectual quote/song lyric that no one got? WHY did we introduce you to your now NEW favorite TV show? Why on God’s green earth do I care so much? I am hooked.

Like a bad reality TV show, I am glued to the screen. I know that it rots my brain, and that I’m wasting my time with useless information. I KNOW that. And yet I can’t get enough.

My brain tells me that I’m psycho. That I could (should!!) be doing much better things with the free time that I do have. You know, like pine over that Tiny Toons DVD boxed set that I saw at Target. Or play Animal Crossing on my DS. Or finish reading the WOT series. Or think about BSG some more.

But this is new for me. I’ve never ‘cyber stalked’ anyone, and I’m having a great first time doing so, which is 99.9% of the problem.

For all of you stalking veterans out there: any pointers?
*And no one state the obvious, because I am clearly a mental case that cannot currently learn from the mistake that I am presently living out.*

*and thank you, Facebook (and dad) for showing me that a good friend back in high school is getting married to an almost 50 year old man. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I don’t think.*