Maybe I’m sharing too much about my personal life on a blog that isn’t exactly anonymous. I guess I won’t know until I try.

Having coffee with a friend the other day, we nonchalantly struck up a conversation about our lives, our jobs and our happiness in both. Turns out, we are both quite happy with the overall-ness of our lives, but not so much with our jobs. And apparently, we aren’t alone.

We’ve both had conversations with friends about the same age, perhaps in different stages of life, however all unsatisfied with the job life has currently handed us. And I’m not just saying this because Petey just pooted on the bed right next to me.

For instance, my friend (we’ll call her Bonnie) is a second year elementary school teacher in one of the craziest, busiest (highest paying) school districts in the area. She graduated from college a year early to start a master’s in ed. Bonnie graduated a year after everyone else our age, but was qualified to make twice a normal teacher’s salary. Sounds good to me.

Bonnie graduated like every other teacher in the area — idealistic and optimistic. She was ready to take the world by storm and change it, one child at a time.

But the school world caught her unexpectedly, and tore her down. Now, she’s reduced to giving tests and taking grades to make her superiors happy, and rarely has time to actually “teach”. She’s pretty unhappy with where she is. Except with her relationship status. She’s engaged, and she’s getting married later this year.

I? I am in a rut of sorts. I know that the job I have currently is just so we can function. I know it’s so that I can eat and live under a roof and have heat and watch mah stories (thank god for top chef and unc basketball). But it’s one I’d give up in a heart beat. And never look back.

This job isn’t one I want to continue with. My future wants different things.

So, it’s hard to wake up in the morning and get out of bed. It’s much easier to set the alarm later to wake up with my husband. To call in sick if I feel the slightest stomachache settling in. Or reschedule meetings and appointments so I can snuggle with Petey or catch up on blogs or watch basketball with my husband.

I pick fights with my husband. I don’t update my blog. I don’t practice my violin or ukulele. I stopped making videos. I don’t read quite as much. I watch asinine tv shows. I eat too much. I don’t exercise enough.

Bonnie says it’s because we’ve hit our quarter life crisis, which I never believed existed until I started thinking about it. I just project complacency and stoicism most of the time. And inside, my emotions are screaming out to be heard. They’re not, though. . . until it’s that time of the month.

I feel awful because I hate putting the people I love through this. But most of the time, I feel so helpless.

Crisis or not, something has to be done. I just don’t know what it is yet… but I know it’s something that I have to do.

Anyone offer any suggestions or nugglets of wisdom?

*I may take this post down (depending on my mood), so don’t be surprised if you see it in your readers and it doesn’t show up IRL.