When you’re going through a transition in your life, it’s easy to distinguish who your real friends are.
When you’re in college, however, it’s hard to see who’s just there for the fun and games and who’s going to be there for the long haul. Sometimes, you don’t hang out with the long haul friends as much as you should, because you honestly can’t see their faces clearly enough without the lines becoming smudged and faded. The honest friends, the candid friends, the selfless ones, and the ones with the most love are hardest to see, especially during the good times. Because it’s not always about them.
But it’s oh, so easy to see them during the hard times. Again, because it’s not always about them.
It’s hard when you go through the transition, and you don’t think you have any friends of which to speak. At all. But then you turn around and find open arms.
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I was always the kid who thought, “If I were to die today, would anyone come to my funeral?” I wasn’t emo, nor was I suicidal. I never once thought about killing myself to find out, but that doesn’t stop a kid from being curious, right? I was just that kid. The one who got picked on for looking different; the one who got teased for not having the most money. I didn’t have a whole lot of friends, but it sure was easy to see who the real ones were.
I thought.
And then those friends would stab me in the back and leave me sitting at home alone every weekend reading through Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities for the 15th time.
And I came to accept it. Sadly. But I did.
Now that the wedding season has rolled around, truthfully, at first, I was a little scared. A ton of my friends from college recently threw a huge bridal shower for one of the girls “in our group.” Because our group encases a few different sub-groups, there were friends who were closer and those I barely knew. None of those friends, I thought, would throw me a shower. And I was right.
But this post isn’t about those friends who may or may not show up to my funeral. This post is about the ones who stuck by me when my grandfathers both died in the same year. The friends who have helped me plan this wedding every step of the way. Who called to make sure the conference went smoothly, and volunteered during lunch to see if they could do anything to make things easier. The ones who spent an entire evening cutting and pasting and tying ribbons on invitations. Who will spent Saturday with me at “surprise”* shower and afterward stuffing the invites so we can have them out this weekend.
The ones who are throwing me a “shower” at the end of this month. A big party with my friends and Matthew’s friends.
The friends that stuck.
*It’s not a surprise in the sense that I didn’t know about it so they’re all going to yell, “Surprise!” at me when I walk in the door. It’s a surprise because Matthew’s family is amazing, and they’re throwing me an unexpected tea party shower this weekend.
Filed under: Yay!, life stories, reminiscing, sad, wedding stuffs, wonderings
I always wonder what friends will stick, at the beginning of a new relationship. But I’m always happy about the ones that do, and for that I’m grateful.
It’s the little things that count.
I have definitely found wedding planning to be a good time to figure out who your close friends are, and think about who cares and reciprocates and will be there when you need it–and who you would be there for as well.
It is funny what situations force such revelations. I’m glad that such a happy celebration has also led to this discovery!
I definitely had that thought before, in the curious not wanting to die way. Who will come to my funeral? Or, who will come to my wedding (not that i’m getting married, but still)? The friends that stick by me are the amazing ones who I don’t mind stuffing envelopes, tieing ribbons, and throwing showers for. THose are the ones I always want around.
Very cute post. Enjoy your shower!