All through high school, I would flit to and fro from one hobby to another, one group of friends to the next, always ready to start something new, meet new people, gain new skills. I was constantly busy — playing the violin, guitar, mandolin, singing, acting/singing/dancing/working backstage awkwardly, playing soccer, running cross country, “playing” basketball, constantly reading and listening to music, baking, watching movies with my boyfriend, even gardening — I was the queen of hobbies. I loved to meet new people and listen to their stories.

My life hasn’t really changed that much. Well, ok, I take that back. Up until this past October, my life hadn’t changed that much. In the time since high school, I learned how to knit, sew a quilt, sing better and more confidently, play the ukulele, put on makeup, and I was still regularly reading, listening to music, watching movies, playing video games, playing the violin & viola, singing, working out and running, cooking and baking, playing with a myriad of pets. I still liked to meet new people – I just liked having my own personal space more frequently.

Recently, though, I’ve found myself doing less. I’m not quite sure exactly what the specific reasons are, but it confused me at first.

I tried throwing myself back into what I used to do for fun. I picked up my ukulele with the hopes that everything would be solved. They weren’t. I played my violin more. Less. Played Animal Crossing for days. I started listening to more CDs and catching up on TV shows I’d missed. I baked more. I put on makeup every day for a week. I worked out every day. I threw myself into my job. I started knitting a scarf, even though it was almost summer.

Unsurprisingly, the busyness didn’t keep me occupied for long.

Being in this play really clarified some important aspects of my life for me. I’ll spare you the gruesome details, but when an introvert is surrounded by a plethora of people backstage, only one of which they’ve seen before, it gives them time (AKA me) to think.

I think that I should be focusing my energy into things that matter in this stage of my life, not necessarily knitting or playing the ukulele or running every day.

And it definitely means that I can’t do the 3 hours of sleep for more than one night in a row deal anymore. Someone save me from Monday morning?

Definitely still a work in process…

I decided to enter the the latest 20SB Carnival, aaaaaaand “This post is a part of 20SB’s Looking Back Blog Carnival, and Ben & Jerry’s is awarding free ice cream to lucky bloggers and readers!” Whooo!

It’s a long one, but it was such a great time in my life. Just reading about it makes me all gooey and ooey and happy mushy gushy again. Blech This is from January 2009.

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Quite a bit has happened since I last posted, and now I feel that I’ve fallen behind. Since I have some free time (due to one of the most recent changes), I thought I’d spruce up the site a little with some more of my words.

Let’s see, where to begin? First off, after I wrote my last post, I took a nap. The nap was, then, interrupted prematurely by none other than my dearest Matthew, who was waking me up to go to the New Year’s Eve party. Ok, ok. I was cranky. I’m not exactly known to wake up in the best of moods right after taking a 2-ish hour nap (into the evening). After some general unpleasantness, I was fine and I didn’t ruin the evening, thankfully enough.

The party was fun. My good friend bought me Hello Kitty UNO, so I had to play that, of course. The game was awesome, and when I say awesome, I mean that there are no other words to describe it. It’s what every other Hello Kitty thing is. Slightly creepy and kind of weird, but very cute and attractive and well, pink. The Japanese have some problems But I can say that. I’m Asian. AAAaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, goodness, I like to get off on tangents.

New Year’s Eve is when my group of friends celebrate the tradition of Festivus. If any of you have seen the Seinfeld episode where George’s family celebrates Festivus (Christmas for some… Festivus for the rest of us), then you’ll know what I’m talking about. If you others who have not seen it or know anything about what I’m talking about, you can Google it and find a plethora of information about it. One tradition celebrated was the “Airing of Grievances.” This is one tradition that has the potential to stick around with my group, so we celebrated it again… 2nd annual, that is. We sit in a half circle with the “Airer” standing at the front of the group. As “airer” goes around the circle, he/she states at least one thing about each person that was done to him/her during the past year that they didn’t like. We are, then, to forgive and forget into the New Year and start out right. It’s always a bunch of silliness, due to a lot of drunkenness, but sometimes there are serious disagreements.

To shorten an already long story, Matthew had been avoiding me all evening, or at least I thought. I would hug him, and he would move away. I thought he was upset with me for some reason, and I didn’t know why. He didn’t even sit next to me during the grievances, even though there was a sizeable spot left open next to me. Usually, I have a Matthew to sit next to me, so no one sat there. Go figure. During his grievances, he passed me. I didn’t know what to think, other than that he must still be mad at me. Then, he came back to me and started saying things that didn’t make sense to me at all. “Brandy has been my best friend for over two years now. I have no genuine grievances against her. I do know that I want to spend my life with her, because I love her more than I love anyone else.” and blah blah blah, I really don’t remember a whole lot else, but then, he came over to me and got on his knee (in front of everyone!) and asked me to be his bride. Eek! Didn’t see that one coming. I couldn’t really comprehend everything going on, but I took the box from him and then said, of course.

I vaguely remember hearing some cheering and clapping, but really all I can remember is his face and the way I felt in his arms. To sound extremely sappy (which is totally unlike cynical, stoic Asian Brandy), it was such an incredible moment to know that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Marriage is crazy.

Anyway, whoa! That was one change. And I totally didn’t see it coming.

Then, some other stuff happened… but I don’t really want to talk about it.

And then, finally, yesterday. Lil trucky’s transmission kaputted. It was on it’s last leg anyway, but I didn’t expect her death to be so soon. Or stinky. Matthew and I are going to get my new car on Saturday, granted they have it up here by that time. I’m getting a new-ish car! Well, technically, it’s used, but it’s new to me.

Wedding planning is not coming. I am so bad at planning ahead for things of little interest to me. Now, now, I know what you’re thinking, but I don’t really want to plan this thing. I don’t want anyone else to plan it for me. I want extremely simple, but I’m hitting a few obstacles. Anyone have any advice to a small one just starting out?

That’s it for now. I think I’ve bored you long enough. Now, because I have no mode of transportation, I’ll start some reading or Pokeman (seriously though, I love my DS) or make some dinner or something. Looks to be a night of great potential. Laters!

I can’t talk about one specific aspect of my life in great detail, so I have to resort to bullet points. It’s become that sad, people, and if I sit down and think about it too long, I’ll lose it. So, instead of real bullets, I’m using the next best thing.

-. Sometimes, Christians are the worst people to work with or for. With all of the shit that has been happening in my life right now, that is all that I can say. One, so I don’t get fired unjustly (OH WAIT…) and two, because I don’t want to get incredibly flipping angry right now. I still have to write these poop faces a response. (I’m sorry I’m being so cryptic about this right now.)

-. This play that I’m in? Stressing me out. I always forget how introverted I am until 5 people are all up in my face all of the time. I know it’s silly, but if you’re in high school and you have a crush on me, just remember that I only look 16 and that I’m actually 25. So, just because I’m married doesn’t mean that you can’t be nice to me even though you were trying to flirt with me yesterday. YES, I’M MARRIED. I CAN BE MARRIED. AND YES, I CAN DRIVE A CAR. I PAY MY OWN BILLS AND EVERYTHING. AND NO, I DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN YOU CONSTANTLY CALL ME MING-MING. *deep breath* Oh, and brush your teeth because your breath? Smells like dog shit.

-. Oh, wait. Work and the play are the only things that are stressing me out? That’s nice. Because I only spend 100% of my day doing only those two things. I know that the latter is my own fault, but I just thought it would be nice to do something fun for a change. Guess being in a play akin to a badly made Pocahontas wasn’t the play to make that happen. Maybe next time. Right? (quote from the play, “You can’t close the acorn once the oak begins to groooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwww.” Quality stuff.)

-. T-minus 2.5 weeks until the beach! Yay for really hot sun (let’s hope it stays this way) and waves and relaxation and ice cream on the dock with my husband and his family. Let’s hope I still have a job when I come back…

As I sit here and drip sweat on my keyboard and previously unstinky “office” chair (and I do use the term “office” very, very lightly), I realize one thing: I am not at rehearsal.

And that makes me happy. Happy because I can sit at home  and watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Happy because I can snuggle Petey (even though I just put that stinky flea juice on the back of her neck). Happy because I can read my stupid obsession of Gossip Girl. Happy because I can shower and not feel bad about it. Happy because I can play Kelly Clarkson on my ukulele. And finally, happy because I can write in my blog without that nagging feeling like I’m not doing something I’m supposed to be (like buying dog food. Oh, snap!).

So, even though I’ve already written too much blabber, I will continue on with a smattering, a dribble, if you will, of thoughts from my exhausted brain.

* Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred makes me want to die sometimes. Mostly beacuse my stomach hates me (and I’m sure there are women out there just like me), and refuses to respond to any kind of workout other than starvation (and even then, it doesn’t). I suppose this is a good thing (mostly so I don’t give up during the first week), but right now, it feels like a bad thing. A very bad thing. July beach trip, here I come!

* Working out at least 4 or 5 times a week makes for weird comments left on other people’s blog posts. Most recently, My Boring Life. . . and you can’t tell me that makes sense. Because it doesn’t.

*  I am in the process of applying to grad school! This means that I still need to write my essay on why this school can do *these specified things* for my education. Sounds like a blast, doesn’t it?

* The play is fun, but it is making me crazy. And mostly crazy exhausted. Cast was supposed to be off book for the music by this past Saturday, but I only got it on Tuesday, so I am crazy behind. And my body hates it, because I don’t get to eat dinner until after 10 (which is very, very, very bad. Just ask Jillian) and makes my stomach do nasty things. I’m still not over it. Oh, and back to the play, because yes, it is fun, but it is killer on my knees. I forgot that the last time I did blocking and stage theater anything, my ACL, MCL, meniscus, fracture wounds didn’t exist yet. Now I’m cracking and popping all over the place. Oh, and people fart. A lot. Post dinner farts are always the worst, especially if they’re from a girl (oh, you know what I mean, you silent but deadly farters out there). I hate you all.

Ok. That’s enough. I’m going to go shower, and stare at the pizza I made to tortue myself, and probably eat a piece any way. Oh, wait, what’s that about my stomach?

I don’t want to hear it.

I love you, so please come back to me even though you may or may not have made it through this post. Miss you!

I am so bad at this blogging thing. I used to try to stay motivated, and yet, failure. Almost every single time. Maybe it’s the time of the year. With so much happening, I simply don’t have the time or energy to write about my life. I’ve given up on having an actual written journal, and I had that baby for jeez, close to 10 years, and I can’t even keep up a blog that could, in reality, take me 10 minutes to write.

I added to my grand list of to-dos, a play. Yep, I’m going to be in another play. So, this means that my evenings are now completely shot as I enter this play mid-play-ness and we open in less than a month. (read: they needed more altos and I happen to be one great alto.)

I am also the matron(whoa) of honor in a friend’s wedding, and involved in many things regarding that big ball of outdoor bliss.

So, in short, I won’t be posting as often (or ever) for the next month or so, or at least until my heart desires to do so. I still read you all, so don’t worry about that, and I’m still playing my ukulele for those of you (cough* you know who you are) that I’m going to make an awesome recording for

I’ll leave you this gem:

in honor of LiLu’s high school prom pics, this is me and my friend Lindsey (minus our dates) before my junior prom.

Now, I need to go do some more work and snuggle Petey.