Oh. My. God.

All of this water is literally killing me. I’m sitting here in class listening to presentations. A lot of presentations. And I can’t go to the restroom. I can’t. I can’t. . . I can’t. This is the most I’ve had to “go” in a long time. I’ve gotta get my mind off it.

Ok. . . pictures. Yes, pictures. It’s Thursday. Kodak Thursday!

Um. Carbonated milk. Yuck. Aaaannd that’s also a liquid. Damn it.

Oh, this picture is hiliarious. There is actually a website that produces this product. Just click on. It really doesn’t need much explanation. I can’t believe that people actually buy this shi. . . crap.

That’s about all I’ve got for today. Happy Friday eve!

Or however you do the apostrophe with the individual letter thing. I never really got that, because I’m still stuck in the land where apostrophes mean something belongs to the something with the apostrophe. I am so high school.

Anyway, back to the point of the post. This day is brought to you by the Letter W!! (wah ah ah ah ah ah!! Come on, you guys know this reference)

Water: I used to never drink water, or any other liquid, for that matter. I thought I could get by with only drinking a few glasses of OJ or tea or something else throughout the day. Wrong. I would dehydrate constantly, and I had to stop running outside because I would, of course, feel light-headed and funny. I would drink a liter of water and then that would be that.

I am doing that Dr.Natura thing with my friend Starr in NYC and yes. It makes you drink at least 2 liters of water a day (8 glasses). This is my third day on the stuff (and fifth day of the 2 liters of water deal), and I feel like I’m about to float away. My body simply isn’t used to absorbing this much water, and I am constantly going to the bathroom. I’m sure you all wanted to know that.

Wadi: Yes, a wadi. Raise your hand if you know the meaning of this word. Ok, no one? Fine, I’ll wait while you Google it. Back? Right, so I didn’t either. . . until I had it as a vocabulary word for Hebrew. Sad how the school system failed me in such a significant way. Ok, maybe not that significant, but still. It seems like I should have known the definition of something so simple. If you’re teaching land stuffs, definitely teach them wadi. They’ll thank you when they get to Hebrew 2 class.

Wedding Plans: Are actually coming along! I found some stuff in Martha Stewart weddings that I actually liked (and yes, I actually bought the magazine. . . as crazy as she is, Martha’s knows her crafty stuff). Lace around the candle holder things? Love it. I’m going to meet with this insane wedding woman after graduation, and we’ll get to it. Who’s finally excited about planning it? Why, I am, of course! Daily gym routine to follow shortly, and I’ll officially be a bride in training

Wallowing: Ok, I’ll admit it. I’ve had a bad past week or two. Buh. But it’s almost over, and the end is finally in sight. I’m not even thinking about the work that is to come this summer. Matthew was also very kind in helping me put everything into perspective, so things are actually looking less stressful and more summer-like. Maybe even fun. Maybe. But either way, no more wallowing in my distress.

Work: I am not good at public speaking. I know I’m not. Most of the people close to me know I’m not. I’m just not. I get very nervous and stutter. I can’t get my thoughts straight, even if I have a paper right in front of me telling me exactly what to say. Unfortunately, it’s something I have to deal with for my job. I don’t know how I’m going to get better at this, but I really, for my own sake and most certainly for the sake of those in close proximity to me, hope that I can somehow get better. It makes work much more stressful than it needs to be.

Will Arnett: Can someone please explain to me why we let this show get cancelled again? Because seriously.

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?: I saw a Lambchop clip on YouTube the other day, and it made me think about all of those good PBS shows I used to watch when I was little. No cable, which means no MTV, no Full House, no Nickelodeon, no nothing. Well, we did get Beetlejuice and Tiny Toons, but those shows are beside the point. I’m talking about Square 1, Ghostwriter, Carmen Sandiego, Lambchop’s Playalong. . . oh, you know. The good stuff.

and finally, Waddledees: Who else likes to play as King Dedede just so you can throw waddledees on the final smash? They’re so damn cute and a nice break from Pikachu

I’m all W’ed out (that’s what she said). Hope you all had a great Wednesday

It appears that almost is the right word for now. I’m almost finished with this semester. I am almost ready for my fulltime job. I am almost graduated. I am almost married. I am almost.

I don’t particularly like my life in the almost. Transition and I have never played well together. Transition is mean, says discouraging things, and scratches like a cat. Transition usually means change, and change and I don’t play well together, either. Sometimes, I really hate transition. Transition can be a bitch.

I am not currently satisified in my life, and it appears that I am actually in need of this almost/transition time. Need and want are two different things, especially in this case, and as I look at how things are going to be in the future, I am daunted with the task of actually getting there. To the future. From now, the present.

I thank those of you who come here to read me rant about my never ending list of complaints. This hasn’t been an easy time. I also realize that because I didn’t take the time to do the things I wanted to on occasion, I went a little nuts. Yes, the past week and a half - two weeks have been rough. Did I blog? Nope. Should have, though. That’s what I meant when I said I learned blogging. I must get my feelings out, or I will explode. Literally. Just ask Matthew, and he’ll tell you what’s what. Poor him.

So. Here it is 6 May, 2008, Tuesday afternoon. I just got one grade back, and it was an A. Super glad about that, and that means that one class is down, and only four more to go. One major research paper, two final exams, one quiz, two presentations, and one walk across the stage is what I have left until. . . the summer. I have two classes to make up because I skipped a semester in my floundering post-college stage.

This summer is going to be busy, but that’s how I like it.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I like looking forward to events. I like getting ready and being prepared. I don’t, however, like it when I don’t have a good picture of how things are going to turn out, when the future is uncertain or when I feel like no one cares what happens to me.

I have turned into a sad pessimistic who doesn’t workout or read for pleasure or eat what’s good for her or talk to her friends. Something’s gotta change.

I can’t wait to start getting ready to be a bride, a wife, and a fulltime working gal.

I just gotta get out of this almost. . .

_________________________________________-

*Disclaimer: I read back through this post, realized it was diorganized and flighty. I don’t want to change it. It’s where I am right now.

Senior Day is today. Of course, this means that I have to walk around in a stupid red polo all day. This also means a student vs. faculty softball game, commencement exercises, exit interviews, and dealing with people I don’t really like all day. BUT (and this is a very big but ;)), Senior Day means that in less than a week and a half, this semester is finally OVER. Graduation. Looooong and hot commencement ceremony. At least a week and a half of freedom before summer school starts and theeeeen I’ll get to actually graduate. But not to rain on the parade.

I wanted to write a little list of things I’ve learned this semester, because I’m looking back on this past few months, and even though I’ve hated a majority of it, I’ve still learned. . . and really, that’s all that matters. So here we go:

This semester I learned:

• That dealing with a vast majority of people who work in Christian ministry is hard. Really hard. Much harder to deal with than people in other jobs, in fact. But then, there are those who are. . . simply the best. And those people are what make it all worthwhile.
• That I can still wait until the last minute to write research papers. But I still hate it, and my butt does still fall asleep.
• That I can’t stay up late to pull “all-nighters” anymore. Not that i was really that great in the first place.
• That this town is so damn small that one should really only be here full-time from another area for about… 4 years. And then leave and move on. Or you’ll go insane.
• That there are just some professors who can’t be worked with. These are also those same professors whose classes are mandatory, yet useless. Why are they mandatory? Because no one would take them if they weren’t.
• That all day classes SUCK. Hard.
• That silently praying and wishing that people will shut their big mouths never works. No matter how hard you scream in your head.
• That there are some people who will be there for you no matter how hard you try to push them away. And those are the people worth keeping around. . . even if you hate the words that they’re saying at the time.
• That clean and organized = happy poodle.
• Blogging. I learned blogging.
• That I need an animal to come home to.
• That to-do lists are what keep me afloat.
• That my fiance is what keeps my head screwed on straight.

Ok, folks, there you have it. Things that I’ve learned in the past year and a half. From being in this school that I swore up and down I’d never attend.

And there’s something awry with my computer monitor, as it stretched out the resolution, and I can’t fix it using the normal way. I’m confused. Anyone know why a Dell would suddenly change itself without being asked to?

Hope you all have a lovely Monday! I’ll be studying, but I don’t mind. . .

You know what’s scary?

Giving your dog a new medicine.

One that has caused deaths and sicknesses in many dogs.

Ok, let me start over. My dog, Zoe, is part Lab, part Husky. She is a beautiful shade of white and brown, and probably the sweetest thing you’ll ever meet.

Here, you can even look at a picture of her:

That cute enough for you? How about another. . .

About a year ago, her leg started hurting her really bad.  She would yelp every time we tried to move it, and she developed a considerable limp.  We took her to the vet, and she said that she probably pulled something in her leg, and gave us some stuff and told us how to fix it based on that diagnosis. Wrong. She didn’t get better.  We took her back to the vet again, and they put her to sleep to take some x-rays, because they believe that it might be her joints and/or hip, perhaps early stages of arthritis.  She was only 4, mind you, at this point.  The vet gave us some chews to help specifically with the arthritis in her joints, and told us to come back to see if she might have hip dysplasia.  That would be bad, because she would need surgery, and we simply can’t afford that right now.

Never got better.

So, we took her to a new vet this past Monday.  The vet took an x-ray, and found out that her joints and hips are fine.  Completely fine.  However, her spine was what was not fine.  She has some calcium build up, and the perhaps the beginning of osteoarthritis in her back.  She is only 5.

Ok, problem solved. This must be the reason why both of her back legs were having trouble. We’ll just give her this medicine and it will make her feel better.

If you know anything about NSAIDS, you’ll know that this is not the end of the story.  That and the post hasn’t ended yet.  I’ve read the websites, I know the stats.  This means that I know that about 3,000 dogs have died. Out of a million. Which doesn’t seem to be a lot.  But it was still 3,000.

Anyway, I took her on a short walk the next day (Tuesday), and she couldn’t make it a full loop.  Her back legs started shaking, and she couldn’t make it to the door.  She sat down, and I came in crying.  I asked Matthew to help me bring her in the house, and we went out to get a good look at her.  She looked fine.  She was panting and sitting, but she didn’t look like she was in any pain.

Oohhhh, she needs to build up her muscles again. I get it. My knee did the same thing to me. Ok, I’m getting encouraged.

Over the course of the next three days, she is straightening her legs and walking more and actually running. Things are looking good!

Then, she starts throwing up. A lot. Think: eight times in one day.

Oh, dear god. No. Is this one of the bad side effects? Yep.

Needless to say, over the course of the past 5 days or so, my emotions have been wreaking havoc on my already stressed out self.  I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do if we lose her, because I can’t even bear to think about it.  We’ve stopped giving her the drug, and I really hope that it was something simple like: her body is taking a long time to get used to it, a simple overdose, or she ate some bad cat poop.

I’ve had dogs die in the past, and it was sobbingly sad, but this is the first dog that I’ve spent loving away from home. It’s different somehow.

I have no idea how I’ll handle it when Babe-Babe dies (my 13 year old peek-a-poo at my parents’), but honestly? I feel awful just thinking about it.  Sorry my thoughts are so discombobulated, but this is something that works me up.

Ok, no more, no more. It was a simple scare, and things will be fine. Right?